How much value do you get from school pictures? I usually end up overpaying for pictures of my kids wearing silly, self-conscious smiles that don’t capture anything close to their personalities. This year I discovered a better value from JC Penney Portrait Studio.

The pictures at Penney’s cost much less than my daughter’s school pictures would have cost. I used a coupon, but I believe the studio always has coupons available.

The pictures turned out great. The photographer definitely worked for her money. She even got down on her belly to shoot up at different angles. A school portrait photographer would not have done this. She took about 8 different poses and 2 different backgrounds. I’m not big into props, but that option is available.

How I found a better value
I tried JC Penney after falling for a bait and switch routine. My daughter’s preschool and my son’s elementary school use the same photography studio, but the studio charged different prices. My daughter’s pictures cost more than double of my son’s pictures. But that wasn’t the heart of the problem. The photography studio can set any price it likes, and families can decide whether or not they are willing to pay that price.

The problem was that I had to order my son’s pictures a month before I got the prices for my daughter’s pictures. Every time I asked her school for the price sheet, they said it would be sent home as soon as soon as the photographer gave it to them. I wanted to make sure the packages were the same so I could budget the pictures cost for both kids.

I waited as long as I could to order my son’s pictures. It was almost picture day, still no pricing information from the preschool. I had to make a decision.

My son’s order form listed reasonable prices. After tallying the cost, I figured we could order pictures and frame them for Christmas gifts. Doubling the cost of my son’s pictures would cover the costs of my daughter’s since it was the same studio, right? Wrong. Same studio, same pictures, same quality — very different prices.

When I finally got the prices for the preschool, I had already ordered my son’s pictures. Now I was committed to buying the same number and sizes of pictures; I couldn’t give out pictures of my son and not my daughter, and I didn’t want a dozen of the same pictures sitting in some box. Needless to say, I was not happy.

A call to the photography studio confirmed my suspicions. They told me that they have to charge a lower cost to some of the schools to get their business.

I didn’t bother asking why they didn’t hand out price sheets to all the schools at the same time. The answer was clear: Parents would see that an 8×10 is $6 for one child and $12 for another. This wouldn’t go over too well.

Photographers might think $12 for an 8×10 is cheap. Twelve dollars might be cheap for an in-studio portrait where a photographer invests a lot of time changing lighting, backgrounds, poses, etc. But these are school pictures. Kids line up, stand in front of a background, and snap. I’ve watched this studio take pictures of my son and other children at a daycare years ago. No more than two minutes were spent on each child.

Again, photographers can charge whatever price they want. But please charge the same price for all the schools. Or at least be up front about it. Don’t hook parents by making one price available first, then a higher price available for another child after the first pictures have been ordered.

A lot of good, honest, and reputable photographers live in our area. I plan to eventually use one of them for a family portrait. But for now, I’ve gotten good quality portraits from JC Penney. And I didn’t have to sell a kidney to pay for it.

While Nebraska lawmakers mull over revisions to its current safe-haven law, I am at a complete loss for understanding this situation — not the law but its unintended consequences.  Someone explain to me how so many parents can see a legal loophole as an opportunity to abandon their children, some who are teenagers. 

In case you’re unfamiliar with Nebraska’s safe-haven law, here’s a brief update.  Like most states, Nebraska lawmakers wanted to make sure young children aren’t abandoned in unsafe places.  The law was intended to protect the youngest and most vulnerable of our population, newborn infants. Many states allow parents to leave newborns at a hospital without any criminal repercussions.  The laws are designed to ensure a child’s safety; hospitals provide a safe haven for infants when parents find they cannot care for a child.  No doubt, this option could save a child’s life.

But like many well-meaning laws, it has turned into a moral hazard  — the intended good has been counteracted by its misuse.  Because Nebraska didn’t put an age limit on the law, children of all ages are literally being dumped on hospital steps.  As of last count, 34 children have been left at hospitals. And most of these children aren’t infants. As a matter of fact, ages range from 5 to 17.

What goes through an 11 year old child’s mind when his parent leaves him at a public institution with no intention of returning? Does the parent tell the child what is happening? Or is he not told: Is he dropped off with the expectation of someone returning for him in a few hours? And how many times does his heart break when he discovers no one is returning for him? 

Extraordinary circumstances have probably brought parents to this point, but I believe with few exceptions — such as safety issues, there must be other alternatives. For some it could be churches, synagogues, or family. For others it could be social services. Even if it means placing children in new homes, it is better than abandonment. Parents can still play a role in that child’s life, or at the very least, they can stick around long enough to make sure their child finds a good home.

So who is at fault? Parents? Social services? Maybe it’s the Nebraska legislature, who unintentionally uncovered this problem? It speaks volumes that it’s not always parents leaving these children at hospitals, but relatives who have stepped in as caretakers; many of the parents are already out of the picture. According to USA Today, 22 of these children have parents who have been incarcerated at some point. So most of these children come from troubled homes. Abandoning these kids at a hospital is probably not the first time many of them have been pushed aside. This just legitimizes it.

Many people blame the social service system in Nebraska, claiming it is one of the worst in the country. Should social services have done more? Probably. But does that absolve parents of their responsibility? These children are human beings, not objects that you dump when they become too much of a burden. Right now there is a lot of finger pointing. Fingers are pointed at social services, state legislatures, and parents. A post at Type A Mom addresses the issue of social service outreach.

If these parents feel that they have reached the end of their rope and that abandonment is the only solution, then I would suggest that the social services systems have failed them. Nebraska’s dilemna should serve as a wake-up call to all 50 states - there is a need for emergency services to parents of teens. If services are already available (as has been suggested), then their effectiveness should be evaluated. Marketing campaigns should be launched to be sure parents are aware of the services available to them when desperation forces them to consider the unthinkable.

However, the Associated Press (”Neb. senators told safe-haven law exposes problem”, Nate Jenkins)reported today that lawmakers say help is available.

State officials disagreed with child welfare experts, state senators and others who criticized what they said was a lack of access to mental health and other services. Parents, the state officials say, are unnecessarily abandoning their children at hospitals.

Todd Landry, who oversees the state’s children and family services, said there are resources available to parents. “It is not the role of government to intervene in a family’s life” when children are not in danger, Landry said.

So again who is at fault? Or more importantly, how do we solve this problem? It’s not that I don’t feel any sympathy for these parents; I do, but I feel more sympathy for these abandoned children. If you aren’t willing to fight for your child, the very child you brought into this world and parented for the last five, ten, fifteen years, is there anything you would fight for?

Many of these children might be serious problems to their families, or society. Maybe living at home isn’t the best option. But there are other options. They deserve the extra effort to find an appropriate home. It shows them they are still worth it.  And if our children aren’t worth that extra effort, who in this world is?

The other night as I’m sitting watching Kudlow preach from his CNBC pulpit about free market capitalism being the best path to prosperity, I noticed the boy sitting in the chair next to me reading his favorite Star Wars book.   I was so engrossed in the latest financial reason to throw my shoes at the television that I didn’t even notice him reading aloud.  This got me to thinking about the benefits of children reading.

1. It doesn’t involve a cathode ray nipple. (For those of you born after 1990, that means television.)  I mean seriously, does that fact that the kid would rather sit and read books than watch television or play video games need any further explanation?  DUH!  It’s also a way for me to get the boy out of my hair for a while without feeling guilty that I’ve plopped him in front of the electronic babysitter.
2. His language, vocabulary, and ability to understand things has exploded.  I travel occasionally for my job, and last week when putting the boy to bed I noticed he had tucked between the bed frame and the mattress a thick book I hadn’t seen before.  It was Robinson Crusoe.  I asked him, “What’s this?”  The boy’s response wasn’t the excitement over reading a chapter book I had expected. Instead, it was, “Oh Dad, this story is so cool. He built his own boat!”  He then, in great detail, explained to me the adventure of the first four chapters, and how exactly this boat was built.
3. Imagination.  My Dad, who loves math, still at age 69 is constantly searching for new mathematical concepts to challenge his brain, recently discovered fractals.  Fractals are realitively new concept of the past 10-20 years and only with the advent of the computer could they truly been explored.   That’s because a fractal is a pattern that multiplies itself to infinity.  The boy’s imagination right now is like a fractal, just multiplying on itself every time he reads something new.
4. He truly loves it.   When I was a kid, which was in the 70’s, color television was new, at least for my family, and there hadn’t been any research to warn my mother she might turn me into a spastic, jittery freak.  I can remember getting up in the morning, turning on the television, and never turning it off until it was time to go to school, or in the summer, eat lunch.  Our parents didn’t really think anything of it.  (Thus, I have the attention span of a 3 year old at age 37.)  The boy will choose to read a new book over doing a lot of other things when given the opportunity.  Currently, the only thing that he would rather do that than read a book is watch a new episode of Clone Wars.  Although, the tempation of actually reading a Clone Wars or Star Wars book, might even top that. 
5. It makes his Dad proud.  The boy is smart, but he’s human.  He gets good grades, but he struggles a lot with effort.  If there is an easy way or a shortcut to do something, he will find it.   The boy has worked hard to be able to read.  He has given maximum effort, and that makes me proud.

Madagascar entertains, but prepare yourself for some disturbing stereotypes, along with a good dose of over-the top-hostility from a cantankerous, old woman. The hostile old lady wields a purse like a javelin, usually targeting poor Alex, the theatrical dancing lion. Throughout the movie she is either throwing punches or on the receiving end of repeated blows. It’s like watching a hybrid of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and a dirty street fight. Not only was it way over the top, it went on forever. At one point, I wanted to scream “Enough! I get the point.”

The movie is PG, so parents are given notice. But the PG rating doesn’t excuse poor taste or bad judgment in a children’s movie. Kids shouldn’t be laughing at human punching bags. I felt some relief when the elderly woman’s aggression was directed at a Machiavellian lion, who had used trickery to conquer the peaceful savannah and then cruelly banished Alex.

Thankfully, young children probably won’t pick up on many of the worn stereotypes. Adults are the intended audience here, part entertainment and part message. The message is clear to adults, zebras who all look the same and can’t be recognized one from the other. Disturbing, and maybe not so funny. But like it or not, the filmmakers use stereotyping for a reason.  Children are entertained, while adults look on with that “Aha” recognition of real life stuff. (Even if it’s real life stuff that makes us squirm.)

Once you get past all of this, the movie has some good scenes and a pretty decent cast. Bernie Mac (who sadly died this year) plays Alex’s dad; Ben Stiller, Alex; Jada Pinkett, the hippo who realizes she is more than the sum of her voluptuous parts; Chris Rock, Marty the Zebra; and David Schwimmer, the giraffe who is secretly in love with the hippo. My daughter loved the dancing scenes–nothing like lions performing street dances in Africa. My son laughed a little too much at the kickboxing old lady for my comfort. And for the adults, there were monkeys blackmailing a dictatorial penguin for his tryst with an unknown, female bobble-head. Hmmm…How often has this been the downfall of powerful penguins men?

Then again, maybe my I’m reading too much into this. After all, it is just a kids’ movie, isn’t it?

This weekend, according to the WSJ , GM is blitzing lawmakers on the enormous impact of their possible bankruptcy.  GM claims that if it goes belly-up the impact will reach far beyond GM’s doors.  To it’s suppliers, to the dealerships, to the hot dog vendors who setup shop outside it’s door, and (here’s the big one) to the federal government who will be forced to back GM’s pension plan of former workers.

The WSJ quotes a top GM advisor as saying, “There is no Plan B being discussed beyond a government bailout.”

This is considered a great American company that should be saved?  What could be more un-American than choosing to beg for a handout without any attempt to work it out for yourself?  People are much more likely to give money to a  homeless person who offers to clean their car windows or plays music than they are to a guy holding a can asking for money  There is a reason that guy standing on the street corner has a sign that says, “Will WORK for food.” 

Why should GM be any different?  Why should GM’s survival be entirely dependent on you, me, and us giving them money without any effort to do something themselves, even in part?   It’s not like this is the first time the automakers have failed, nor is it the first time they’ve run to the government for protection.

As if that isn’t aggravating enough, GM has the audacity to turn corporate begging into a government hold up.  They claim that without a government rescue, not only are they going down, others are going down with them.   GM is wagering that  it will have hit the jacktpot if it can shift  responsibility off of them and onto the government for not saving all of GM’s unintended vicitmes.  The golden key to shift blame!

It’s not our fault the big three have continually caved to the unions and drove themselves head-on into a labor cost that is two-thirds higher than competitors.  If you’ve ever been involved with the production of a product you know the cost variable with which the producer has the most control over is labor cost.  In almost all cases if you work more efficient, you can make the product cheaper.  It’s also not our fault they aren’t making many cars people want, and that they are making too many models.  Did you realize that between GM’s Chevrolet and Pontiac brands there 15 different models, not counting trucks, vans, and SUVs?  Don’t forget they own all the Buick, Saturn and Cadillac models too!  It’s not our fault they failed to recognize sooner there wouldn’t be gasoline forever, and have now leveraged their entire future on the hopes of a single car (Chevy Volt). 

To quote Forrest Gump, and this applies to both the big three automakers and the government who continues to rescue them, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

This week the local grocery store had a good deal on beef tenderloin steaks that was too good to pass up.    We don’t each much of what I refer to as “hardcore beef” at our house.  By hardcore I mean large helpings of the well known cuts, filets, porterhouse, strips, etc.  We usually cut beef up into smaller pieces and mix with pasta, stir-fry, salads, or something like that. Frankly because these days the service cuts of beef, and pork (the other white meat) are much more affordable.  Even with the tenderloin steaks we had last night, the four of us split two 5-6oz cuts. 

As always, we were running short on time for dinner, so the plan for the tenderloin steaks was a very basic.  The beauty of a tenderloin steak is it doesn’t take much enhancing to get a great flavor.  It’s probably the most naturally flavorful cut of beef.  So I simply sprinkled a little garlic powder, salt, and pepper on each side, and seared it real good, about 3 minutes on each side, in a red hot pan.   The two steaks, in the skillet, were finished off in the oven for about 8 minutes at 375.  The plan was to do a nice reduction of burgundy or Marsala deglaze, but, oops, I forgot! 

For a side we had about 2.5lbs of red potatoes in the pantry, and some green cabbage that if it wasn’t used last night, wasn’t going to get used.  The potatoes were boiled for about 15 minutes, during that time I also diced about 4 cups of cabbage and 3/4 cup of onion, and sauteed them in butter until nice and tender.  When the potatoes were nice and soft, they were drained off, and mashed with 1/2 cup of milk and some salt and pepper.   My riff on Irish potatoes was finished by stirring the buttery cabbage into the mashed potatoes.

We needed a vegetable.  I was going to steam a bag of frozen broccoli, but the boy, already getting wind of the cabbage in the potatoes, was readying his fit for having more green stuff than he could handle.  Since the day had been long enough already,  I succumbed to opening a can of corn, enhancing it with butter, salt, and pepper.

We’re paranoid freaks about the kids choking on their food, and so cuts of meat are usually cut up for the kids into micro-diced pieces.  Tonight though this turned out to be an unnecessary concern as the steaks were so tender the knife easily tore the beef tore apart.  The tenderloin steaks tasted fantastic.  The boy ended up inhaling all his steak, looking for more, but the wife was joining us late and we had to save some for her.  The girl, she ate some of the steak without turning her nose up at it, and then proclaimed, “I’m tired”, after a few bites of corn.  That usually means, I want attention from not eating my meal.   In our house the kids have to try everything, so she was not allowed to leave the table until she tried a spoon of potatoes with cabbage in it.  She was not happy about this, but soon remembered Daddy doesn’t lose.  Already with a pre-disgusted expression, she tasted the cabbage only to verify the expression on her face.  And with that bite of forced nutrition, no matter how insignificant, she was free to go.

As for the potatoes, they were very good.  Judisious amounts of butter, like pork fat, seem to make everything taste good.  (Hmmm…. bacon would have been a good addition to the cabbage potatoes!)  The boy said he really like them, despite protesting, “Dad!  Why did you have to put cabbage in it?”  He did his level best to eat around the cabbage, but his ”green stuff” radar failed to track every piece.  The expression of surprised distain as he chewed the potatoes occassionally crunching down on some cabbage was hilarious.  In the end, the boy managed to somehow eat around most of the cabbage leaving his plate littered in cabbage pieces.

When the wife finally made it to dinner, she proclaimed the steak was just perfect.  She said the potatoes were very good, but I got the impression her Italian blood wasn’t overwhelmed by the subtle (some say bland) flavors  of Ireland.

In our house the kids noses get turned up by any suggestion of a meal served with fish that doesn’t involve tuna from a can.  It is unfortunate for the wife and I as we are big fans of the tilapia.  Perhaps some would say it’s fortunate for us, because it’s more for us!  The thing to really like about tilapia is it’s mild, slightly sweet taste.  For someone such as the wife, who is turned off by the strong “fishy” taste of many popular catches it’s something she finds very enjoyable.  Even better is the fact that tilapia is considered a “clean fish”, free of seeped toxins, is not at risk of being over fished, and like most fish is really, really nutritious.

So anyway, last night on short notice for dinner I whipped out about 6 small frozen tilapia fillets, and thawed them in the sink.   I hit them with a little salt and pepper, and cooked them over medium-high heat for about 90-120 seconds on each side.  At the same time, I fired up the broiler, and threw a couple tablespoons of flaked coconut on a cookie sheet, and put them under the broiler for all of 30-60 seconds, at the most.  Just long enough to get the ends of the flakes a nice toasted singe.  Put the fish on a platter, and topped them with the toasted coconut flakes.

To go along with the fish I made 3 cups of white rice, and popped a bag of those frozen mixed steamed vegetable thingies in the microwave.  Plated the rice, the steamy mixed veggies, topped with the coconut fish, and sat the family down to eat.  The wife loved it.  The daughter, well, she was in a mood, (that ended with her skipping dinner going to bed.) The boy picked out all the veggies, and the “ewe”, “icky” soft carrots, and made his way to asking for thirds, at which point he was stopped and forced to eat a handful of baby carrots first.   I thought the sweet coconut just melted into the sweetness of the fish perfectly.  It was great.

The other day, my first grade son brought home another basic phonics paper he had done in class; so basic, my four year old daughter did her own version of it. It consisted of listening for short vowel sounds and rhyming words. My son, who has been actively reading since the age of four, complained he’s bored in class, understandably so. Now, to keep things in perspective “I’m bored” has become a euphemism in our house for “I don’t want to do any work.” Work ethic aside, he needs more challenging learning activities.

My husband and I both love reading: we read often, visit the library, and keep our bookshelves well-stocked. So, it’s natural that reading began early for our children. They enjoy storytelling, as well as what many consider the pedantic side of reading, such as phonics and grammar. I don’t think my children are unusual. In fact, they are average children who excel in some areas and struggle in others. They love learning new things and enjoy challenges. Sometimes they meet those challenges; other times, they backtrack and try again. Don’t we want our children to be challenged in school, not to the point of frustration, but to the point of good, mental stimulation? At the very least, each child should be working at his ability, not below it.

The school does not deserve all the blame, or even most of it. I think the problem runs deeper. My son attends a good school. He has excellent teachers, a dedicated principal, and a pretty decent peer group. So what’s the problem? Why do American students rank in the twenties (out of thirty) for math and science? Why do seventy percent of our eighth grade students read below their grade level?

We’ve become a nation of underachievers and this has crossed over into the classroom. If society has one expectation, it’s difficult for teachers to enforce higher expectations. As a result, teachers design a curriculum that targets the most basic levels but does not accommodate more challenging levels. I think we underestimate the ability of our children. If a child struggles in an area, he deserves special attention to move him forward, but let’s make sure all students are progressing. If average children can understand basic phonics at four and five, why is so much time spent teaching basic phonics at six and seven? Shouldn’t the learning process gradually become more challenging? Right now, my son’s learning process is in reverse, and I believe this is more common than we realize.

Probably one of the most beneficial solutions would be more classroom help, whether from teacher’s aides, parents, or even older students who could act as mentors. The additional support would allow for more individualized attention. Self-paced learning could allow each child to reach his full potential. Let’s face it, none of us learn at the exact same pace.

Self-paced learning does not always mean working ahead in the classroom. Perhaps, a child who has mastered one subject area could exchange some of that time for a subject in which he struggles. Another option is to allow students to pair up and work as mentors to each other. This offers schools an opportunity to teach leadership, cooperation, and mutual respect among students.

I realize self-paced learning is no easy task. But in the end, I believe it would be worth the effort. Our children deserve this effort. Americans should rank number one in math and science, not twenty-one or twenty-four, and literacy should be mastered by eighth grade.